Hope Happens Here
by AveryGrace17
Summary: Callie's journey with Chronic illness, depression, anxiety, past childhood trauma, and everything in between.
1. Chapter 1

Every night before going to bed, Stef walked around the house checking on her babies, making sure they were asleep and tucked safely into bed. It's something she has done since Brandon was a little boy, she had thought once he got older the ritual would stop. But as Brandon got older, and Jesus and Mariana came to live at the house it was something she continued. She couldn't go to sleep at night without making sure her babies where safe in bed.

First she went into Brandon's room, just as she thought he had his headphones in and was playing piano. She walked up behind him, being careful not to startle him. She patted his shoulder, hugging him from behind.

"Don't stay up to late Brandon, you have school in the morning."

"I know mom, I'm going to bed soon."

"Ok good night B."

"Night mom, I love you."

"I love you to baby get a good night sleep love."

Next was Jesus and Jude's room. Jesus was tucked under is covers fast asleep, she walked over and kissed his head before turning to Jude.

Jude was lying on his bed fast asleep, with his homework lying all around, and on top of him.

"Oh baby."

Stef walked over quietly, to move his school books from his bed. Ever since Jude had come to the Fosters house, he was always working hard to be perfect. Making sure he did well in school, and kept his grades up. He was worried that the Fosters where going to send him away to another home. He didn't want to get sent away again. He actually liked this house, it was better than any house he had ever been in.

Jude had never stated his fears of getting sent away verbally, but Stef and Lena new, mother's instincts.

She moved his books and tucked him in before turning the lamp of. Now to the final destination of the night, Callie and Mariana's room. Marian was also fast asleep, it was pretty dark in the girls room. But looking over at Callie she could see that the girl was still up.

Callie was curled into a little ball, facing the wall.

"Callie sweetie, turn over."

Callie turned over facing Stef, wincing.

"Callie, what's wrong sweetheart, why are you still awake?"

"My stomach hurts."

"Why didn't you get up and tell me baby?"

"It hurts too much, I don't want to move."

At this point Stef's mind started racing with things that could be wrong with Callie. She knew the girl had a very high tolerance for pain, and for her to say that it hurts, it must really be hurting. She hated seeing her babies in pain, is she could she would take it all away.

Stef placed her hand on Callie forehead, to check and see if she had a fever.

"You feel a little warm, but nothing too bad."

"Stef it hurts."

"Why don't you come in and sleep with Mama and me, so I can keep an eye on you tonight?"

"Are you sure Lena won't mind?"

"No baby, it's what moms do. We take care of our babies when they don't feel well. Come here, I will help you stand up."

Stef helped Callie walk too her and Lena's room. She was once again reminded of how much pain Callie was in by how much she had to support her, even walking the short distance of the hall.

"Lena we have a visitor tonight."

Lena looked up from the book she was reading, and saw a pale Callie being supported by Stef.

"Callie, what's wrong?"

"Stomach" Callie mumbled not really wanting to talk. Her stomach felt like someone was shoving a knife through it, she felt nauseas, and like she could pass out at any moment.

Lena sensed how sick Callie felt, by how little she said. "Come lay her down Stef."

Stef helped Callie up onto the bed, and helped her lay down in the middle.

"We will see how you feel in the morning, you probably just caught that's bug that's going around school."

"I want to go to sleep."

"It's ok Just close your eyes, and go to sleep."

Lena reached over and turned the lamp of before lying down. Callie rolled over onto her side facing Stef, Lena started rubbing Callie's back soothingly.

30 minutes later and Callie was still not asleep, "I'm sorry Stef, It just hurts. I can't fall sleep."

"Hey, it's ok. Can you show me where it hurts?" Callie pointed to her left side, and the middle of her stomach.

"Ok, good thing is that it's probably not something serious like appendicitis, so I won't have to take you to the emergency room. But if the pain continues I'm going to have to make you a doctor appointment."

"I don't like doctors."

"I know sweetheart, but sometimes we have to do things we don't like, and going to the doctor or hospital is one of them. We need to make sure that you are healthy and that nothing is wrong with you. If things turn out where you have to go to a doctor Lena and I will be right there with you the whole time. Right, Lena?"

"Yes Callie, Mom is right." At this point Lena had started rubbing Callie's stomach instead of her back. It was something that her mom had done for her when she was a little girl. She was hoping that it might help alleviate some of the pain that Callie was feeling.

"I know it hurts sweat pea, but try to just close your eyes and go to sleep, if the pain becomes too much or gets worse, you need to tell us so we can take you to the doctor. We are willing to wait it out a little longer but we will take you right now if you need to go."

"Ok, I will let you know, and I will try to get some sleep."

1:30 in the morning Callie had finally fallen asleep, and Stef and Lena followed shortly after.

They were worried about the sudden pain that Callie was experiencing, and didn't fall asleep until they knew that Callie had.

5 in the morning Stef was awoken by Callie tossing and turning. Being a light sleeper, naturally came along with being a cop. Callie looked distressed, like she was having a bad dream. Stef reached over her, shaking Lena's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Lena mumbled half asleep before remembering the events of the night and sitting up.

"Callie is having a nightmare, I know we should wake her, but she had such a hard time falling asleep before I'm worried she won't get back to bed."

Before Lena had a chance to reply, Callie's tossing and turning turned in to loud whimpers.

"Stef we need to wake her up."

Stef gently shook Callie's shoulder trying to wake her up from the nightmare.

"No, please don't leave me here I will be a good girl I promise."

"Callie, it's just a dream. It's ok please wake up."

"Please, I'm sorry I will be good." Callie jerked up from her nightmare, the sudden movement leading to her clutching her stomach in her hands from the pain that ripped through her stomach.

"Oh, baby."

Callie started sobbing uncontrollably, she tried to stop crying with all her might, she hated crying in front of people. One of her previous foster fathers taught her not to show emotions. Don't cry in front of other people, don't get too excited, don't get angry. She didn't want to get in trouble for showing emotions with Lena and Stef, although in her heart she knew they would never hurt her.

Lena sat up on the bed, and pulled Callie onto her lap, Callie pulled away from her embrace for a minute before relaxing into her touch. They sat like this for a long while. Lena whispering into her ear trying to calm her down, slightly rocking her back and forth, and Stef rubbing her knee comfortingly.

They sat like this until Callie had calmed down quite a bit, but her breathing was still a little uneven.

"Sweetie, take deep breaths, you're getting all worked up and I'm sure that doesn't feel good on your tummy one bit."

After about 10 more minutes Callie was completely calmed down.

"Do you want to talk about it Bug?"

"No, I just want to go to sleep, I'm tired."

Lena sighed she wanted so badly for Callie to open up to them but she knew the girl was exhausted, and would talk when she was ready. So she patted her back, letting her now to lie back down.

Callie lay back down in the middle, while Stef tucked her in.

Lena kissed the top of Callie's head "Good night bug."

* * *

I have so much planned for this story, I have never had this much inspiration for a story before. I hope y'all like it. Please give feed back and ideas for things you would like to see. I'm open to incorporating ideas. This will be a sad, and happy story, so any ideas are appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Stef and Lena woke up at 6:00, they got up to get ready for the day but decided to let Callie sleep a little longer.

"What are we going to do about Callie?"

"I don't know, I want to take her to the doctor even if she is feeling better, just for a checkup. But I don't know how she is with doctors, she didn't freak out to badly, but the dream she had last night may have been triggered by talking about going to the doctor. Remember the little girl Delaney that we fostered for a few months? She was terrified of doctors, because of something that had happened with a previous foster home, I'm just worried Callie might be the same way."

"Yes, I could never forget that precious little girl, if Callie has some of the same fears as Laney had, we will just have to work with her, and help her through them."

"I know, I just don't like putting our kids in situations they are uncomfortable with."

"I know baby, I don't like it either, not one bit."

An hour later everyone was sitting around the table eating breakfast when Callie walked into the kitchen, and took a set at the table.

"How are you feeling, slug a bug?"

"I feel a lot better, my stomach still hurts a little bit, but nothing like it did last night."

"That's good sweetie, you had us worried. We will have to keep an eye on you, but it looks like it was just the 24 hour bug that has been going around. Do you feel well enough to go to school today?"

"Yeah, I think I will be fine."

Callie looked down at the table and saw pancakes, she scrunched her nose up.

"Would you like me to make you some toast?"

"Yes please, I feel better, but food just doesn't sound good right now."

"That's fine something light would be good right now anyways."

"Ok kiddos, we are leaving in 5, finish eating and get your stuff."

"Stef?"

"What Bug?"

"Umm… Never mind."

"Callie, tell me what you were going to say."

"Well, um I was just going to ask if I could have some more medicine, but I don't really need it."

"Hey, when you are sick or in pain taking medicine is ok, and you need to tell Lena or I when you need some. Here you go, this should help, now go get in the care."

"Thanks, Stef."

"It's fine baby, now go but if you have a hard time at school find Lena."

"I will."

Callie made it all the way to lunch, she was now sitting outside at a lunch table, but she didn't want to eat. Her stomach was bothering her a little, and the thought of food just made her nauseous.

She took her lunch out of her bag, but she just sat there playing with it, she couldn't make herself eat. She knew if she did she would more than likely end up getting sick. She just wanted to get through the day, and go home and sleep.

She hadn't gotten a good night sleep the night before, with being sick and her nightmare, she was still exhausted from the events.

She threw her food back in her bag and stood up, walking to the bathroom.

She sat down on the toilet seat and when she knew she was in privacy, the tears started pouring down her cheeks. She was so stressed out, she had tests coming up in two different subjects and now on top of that she is sick. She let Stef and Lena see her cry last night, she hates seeming weak in front of people, she hates letting people know that she needs help.

The stress was getting to her, she still felt sick on and off all day, but she was worried, she didn't want to tell Stef and Lena she was still sick. Better yet that she has been sick for a lot longer than last night.

She was mad at herself for letting them see her in pain, she was mad that she had acted so helpless. She was guilty they had to take care of her. If only she acted like she was asleep when Stef came in to check on them, she could have gotten through the night without them finding out.

But she didn't know how long she could have kept it up, the pain was getting so bad.

Callie sat in the bathroom until the bell range, she got up and splashed her face with water, getting rid of the evidence that she had just been crying. Well, she tried to get rid of the evidence but her eyes where still puffy and red.

She walked out the bathroom door, heading to class and just her luck. Lena

"Callie sweetheart, are you ok.?"

"Yeah, I have to get to class now."

"No, Callie come to my office."

Callie's shoulders shrink as she followed Lena to her office, she was going to argue that she needed to go to class but she knew it would be no use.

When they got there Callie sat down in the chair, and Lena sat behind her desk. "Callie what's going on, do you not feel well."

"I feel fine, I'm fine, nothing is wrong."

"Callie, please don't lie to me, I know you were crying."

"I'm just tired and stresses that's all."

"Care to explain why your stressed?"

"I don't know, life."

"Callie, baby, I want to help you but you have to open up to me and let me know what is going on so I can help."

"Lena, I don't want to talk about it."

"I can see that bug, Stef and I have told you 100 times and we will tell you 100 more times if we have to. You need to stop holding everything inside, we are here for you. And it's not healthy to keep everything to yourself, because eventually everything that has been bottled up just explodes. It will all come out at once, it will cause a break down. I will not get mad, I just want to know what is going on. I have all day, and I will sit her until you talk to me baby."

"I'm sorry Lena, this is kind of hard for me."

"I know it is, but as you start to open up it will get easier, I promise."

"I mean it's a few things, but it's really embarrassing."

"Bug, you don't have to be embarrassed to tell me anything."

"Lena, it's gross I don't want to tell you!"

"Callie, please I need to know."

"Well my stomach still kind of hurts, and… um. Well….. I also have diarrhea." Callie looked down at the desk, blushing."

"Sweetie, you shouldn't be embarrassed to tell me that it was very important for me to know that. Now what else is going on?"

"Last night wasn't the first night that my stomach started hurting."

Lena sighed. "When did it start?"

"Well It actually started a few weeks after I came to live with you, it wasn't that bad though. It started out a tiny sharp pain in my stomach. I never really thought much of it, I figured it would go away, but it never did. It slowly got worse, last night it the worst it has ever been."

"Sweetheart, you know you should have told me before, this could have been serious."

"I know I'm sorry."

"Anything else going on?"

"Not really, I mean besides being stressed over having a History and Science test, and still being exhausted from last night."

"I'm going to call Stef, she can come pick you up. I think you have done enough for today."

"Are you sure? I mean I can finish school."

"No kiddo, it's fine you are clearly exhausted, and you can't focus on school when you are so tired."

"Just wait in here and I will be back in a few minutes."

Lena called Stef, who got to the school within 10 minutes. "What's going on with our Callie girl?"

"She is just so exhausted I figured it would be best for her to go home and get some rest. Stef, she opened up to be a bit today."

"Oh yeah? That's great."

"Yes, but she was keeping a lot from us, she has been sick for quite some time Stef.

"What do you mean? She was sick before last night?"

"She has been sick for months, it just now started to get bad."

"What are we going to do with that girl? Well this is even more the reason to take her to the doctor I will call them tonight. She can't have a stomach bug for a few months, I will tell her later though I don't want to stress her out before we have to, she will worry all night thinking about the doctor."

"Yeah, good call."

Lena and Stef walked into Lena's office. Callie was sitting in the chair with her feet hanging over the side of the chair, fast asleep.

"Awe my sweet girl, looks so cute when she is sleeping."

"I know I almost don't want to wake her, but she will be much more comfortable sleeping in her own bed rather than this tiny chair.

"Callie girl, wake up sweets."

Callie woke up, rubbing her eyes.

"Time to go home sweetie, and you can sleep in your comfy bed."

"I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"It's fine Callie, you really need to stop apologizing for things."

"Sorry."

"Callie?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Wait, I mean…"

"Come on bug, let's go."

Once they were in the car Callie laid her head against the window.

"How are you feeling besides tired?"

"Fine I guess, my stomach still hurts, but it's more like achy then the sharp pain It was before."

"That's good, but you need to tell me if it gets bad again."

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, and by the time they got home Callie was half asleep. When they got inside Callie went straight upstairs to take a nap, she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Stef took this opportunity to call Callie's doctor and make an appointment. She was hopping that they could fit Callie in for the next day, sometimes they are full and can't get kids in for a few more days.

Luckily she was able to get Callie in the next morning, and didn't have to wait. She decided to get a few things done around the house while Callie was sleeping, and before the kids got home.

About an hour later she heard a scream coming from Callie's room, she ran up to see what was wrong.

Callie was thrashing around the bed, crying and whimpering. She was having another nightmare.

"Callie it's ok, open your eyes, it's just a dream."

"No!"

"Callie, sweetie." Stef sat down next to her placing her hand on Callie's head. Callie flinched away from the touch.

"Please, don't make me leave, I'm sorry."

"Callie wake up." Stef shook her a little harder this time. Callie jerked awake from her nightmare.

"Stef, I'm so sorry."

Stef pulled Callie into her side holding her tightly. "Shhh… it was just a nightmare, your fine, nothing is going to happen."

"You're not going to send me away?"

"No, Callie why would you think that?"

"I didn't mean to get sick, I was trying to hide it, but I couldn't. I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble."

"Callie Bug, I love you, Mama loves you. We will never send you away, no matter what. It does not matter what you say or do. You have no control over when or if you get sick, this is not your fault. Mama and I don't want you to hide when you get sick, you need to tell us so we can help you. You are my baby, remember what I told you at my dad's funeral? I feel like I have 5 hearts running around outside of me, and one of those hearts is you baby. Ok, your stuck with us now, there is no getting away from us."

"I love you guys so much, but I'm still worried that this will turn out like every other foster home I have ever been in, and eventually I will do something to screw up and you and Lena will decide that you don't want to keep me anymore. Then I will go back to another horrible foster home. I don't want that to happen, this is the first home that I have ever felt safe in."

"And I will do anything in my power to make you feel safe. It's ok to be scared, it is. At least promise me that you will work with us, and try to start trusting us when we tell you that we are never letting you leave us?"

"I will"

"I love you to the moon and back my little princess. Close your eyes."

Callie snuggled even more into Stef's side and fell back to sleep. She stayed asleep until Lena and the kids got home, and Stef stayed by her side the whole time.

Lena walked into Callie's room seeing Callie asleep next to Stef. "She always looks so sweet sleeping, and I still don't want to wake her."

"I know we have one beautiful daughter."

"We got some food from the Mexican place, I don't know if Callie will be able to handle it but I can always make her something else."

"Ok, it would probably be good for her to eat something."

Stef shook Callie to wake her up. "Bug, where going to go downstairs and get something to eat."

"Not hungry."

"What did you eat today?"

"I had toast for breakfast."

"You didn't eat your lunch?"

"No, I'm sorry I didn't feel very well."

"Ok, well can you come down and at least try to eat something?"

"I guess."

The kids where all at the table, filling their plates with food.

"Callie would you like to try some of this chicken? It's probably the easiest thing for your tummy."

"Sure."

Jude came and sat next to Callie. "Are you ok Cal?"

"Yeah, baby. I still don't feel the greatest but I'm doing better."

"I'm worried."

You don't have to worry about me Jude, I'm going to be fine. Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yeah, I got a good grade on my math tests."

"That's great buddy, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks."

Lena placed the plate of chicken in front of Callie. "Her you go Callie, try to eat as much as you can."

Callie sat there pushing her food around for a few minutes, before eating a bite. She ate a few more bites before pushing her plate away. If she ate another bite she was going to puke, just the smell was making her nauseous.

"Is that all you're going to eat Callie? Can you try a few more bites?"

"I can't do it."

"Do you feel sick?"

"I just feel really nauseas, I really don't think I can eat another bite without puking."

"Ok, we will try to get more food in you tomorrow. This is fine for now."

"May I go to my room now?"

"Yes you may sweetheart."

Callie spent the rest of the night in her room resting and doing homework. She heard a knock on the door and Stef and Lena walked in.

"Callie we need to talk to you for a minute."

Callie immediately thought the worst case scenario. Lena saw the fear on her face.

"You're not in trouble Bug."

Callie let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Lena sat at the end of Callie's bed and Stef sat down next to Callie. She figured it would probably be best to just say it, and not hold back. That would only cause Callie more worry and fear.

"I called your doctor today and made an appointment for you."

Callie's started breathing heavier as she looked at Stef. "Why I'm fine? I'm not sick anymore."

"Callie sweets, your still sick, we need to make sure everything is fine."

"No, please don't make me go!" At this point Callie had tears running down her face.

"This is for your own good, love"

"Please, I will do anything, I will be good please don't make me go." Callie pulled her knees up to her chest and started rocking back and forth.

"Baby, why are you scared of the doctor? No one is going to hurt you there."

"You don't know that!"

"Bug, did a doctor hurt you before?"

Callie sat there in silence and continued to rock back and forth

"I don't like doctors."

"I know kiddo, can you tell us why you don't like doctors so we can help you?"

"I can't"

"You can baby."

"No, I don't want to please don't make me! Not yet."

"Will you tell us in the morning?"

"I will try."

"Hey sweetie come her." Stef pulled Callie into her side, her breath was still uneven and she was shaking. "Just breath, take deep breaths."

"My chest hurts."

"I know, just breath, follow my breathing ."

Lena moved to where she was sitting on the other side of Callie.

"I don't know why you are so afraid of going to the doctor, but Stef and I will be with you the whole time, nothing bad is going to happen to you."

"I'm scared"

"I know baby, why don't you go to bed and we will worry about this in the morning?"

"Ok, good night."

Lena kissed her forehead and moved from the bed, Stef brushed Callie's hair out of her face and did the same. Stef went to move, but Callie held her back.

"Please don't leave me, I don't want to be alone!"

"Oh, sweetie. Do you want me to sleep in her with you tonight?"

"I do, but I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"Do you want Lena in here to?"

"Umm… I mean it would be nice, but I at least want one person to be here so I'm not alone, if Lena doesn't want to stay she doesn't have to."

"Lena walked back over anything for my Callie girl."

Lena tucked Mariana into her bed.

"Mama, is Callie going to be ok?"

"Don't where about her baby, I'm sure she will be fine. We just have to take her to the doctor to be safe."

"Ok, I just don't want anything to happen to here."

"She will be fine, now gets some sleep."

"Ok, I love you Mama."

"I love you more."

"But I love you the mostest."

"Whatever you say, Miss Thing."

Lena crawled in bed next to Callie, Stef laid Callie on the bed, so they were no longer sitting up, she pulled Callie back into her side. Callie curled into a ball, rubbing her finger on her nose.

"Sleep my little Callie Bug."

Callie fell asleep within two minutes. Tomorrow would be another long day thought Stef

* * *

Thank you for all the great reviews. If you like, please keep reading. I assure you this is not like any of the other "Callie gets sick" fanfiction. I will tell you now that it is different from anything you have read, Callie does not have the flu, cancer, or appendicitis. This story is somewhat based of true events, so I will be making it as realistic as I can. That means Callie will be going to more then one doctor, she might get a misdiagnosis, doctors might think it's all in her head. Some people go years of testing before getting diagnosed with chronic illness, I obviously am not going to drag it out a year, but maybe a few chapters. I don't want to jump right into it. Please give feedback, any ideas for future chapters? Just let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

TRIGGER WARNING! - Talk about sexual abuse

* * *

Callie walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

"Morning Slug a bug, how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine now, it doesn't last all the time, sometimes for a few weeks at a time and sometimes only a day or two."

"Well, that's good baby, but you know you still have to go to the doctor right?"

"Yea, I know."

"Ok, so do you think you can eat some breakfast this morning, I made some eggs?"

"Yeah, I'm really hungry."

"I'm sure you are, you hardly ate anything yesterday. Ok babies Callie has a doctor appointment that we have to leave for in 30 minutes, so she will not be at school today. Brandon is driving you guys to school, get going, be careful, and learn something."

"We Will Lena, I like learning new things."

"And that's why you're my favorite."

Jesus turned to Lena with a hurt look on his face.

"Oh, you know I love you Jesus, now scram."

All of the kids ran out the door to the car, Jude stopped to give Callie a hug. "I love you Callie."

"I love you to, have a good day at school Little Monkey."

"I will, bye Callie see you later."

"Ok Callie, come sit with us in the living room for a minute."

Callie looked up, not saying a word she got up and followed them to the living room. Lena and Stef sat on each side of her, Lena placing her hand on Callie's knee.

"Ok Callie, I know this is hard for you, but we would like to know why you are afraid of going to the doctor, that way we know how to help you get through today."

"You don't get it, I can't tell you."

"Baby, you can tell us anything, you know that."

"I'm not supposed to say anything though."

"Sweetie, did someone tell you to keep quiet about something?"

Callie stayed silent starring at the carpet in front of her, before speaking up.

"Each new foster home we get placed in we have to go to the doctor. I guess you probably already know that, but they have to do a checkup, and make sure that we are not injured. I have been in over 10 placements, there have been many doctor visits, and hospital stays from being beaten in a foster home. I have many bad experiences."

"Keep going, just tell us one of them."

"When I was 11, I was getting moved to another house. I went to the doctor like I usually do. This time it just felt weird, something felt of about this doctor. I begged my foster parents not to leave me, they were one of the better foster homes, they just couldn't keep us anymore. I wanted them to stay with me so badly, because I just had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to happen."

"Go on Sweetie, what happened?"

Lena pulled Callie into her side, she knew this wasn't going to be good.

"He was doing the physical exam, he started checking for bruises. He picked me up and sat me on the table. He lifted my skirt, he told me that it was a mandatory part of the exam. It felt wrong, a doctor had never done that before. He… He took my underwear of and told me to lie down, I was scared, but I was afraid of what he was going to do if I didn't listen to him. When I lay down, he just started touching me, I can still feel it, and I can't forget the way his hands felt on me." Callie was sobbing at this point.

Stef moved closer, and Lena started rocking Callie back and forth. "Baby, none of this should have happened to you, and you need to know that none of this was in any way your fault."

"That was the first time anyone had touched me, it was before Liam, I was so scared."

"Baby, did he just touch you, did he do anything else?"

"He put his fingers inside of me, he said that was part of the exam to, he had to make sure I wasn't hurt. He told me not to tell anyone, logically I know he can't hurt me now, but I'm still scared when I think about it."

"Your right sweetheart, he can't hurt you now, he will never hurt you again. And no one else will for that matter. Lena and I will be right by your side the entire time, we will be in the same room at all times, we are not going to leave you alone."

"Promise?"

"I promise Bug, thank you for telling us, you're so brave. Now we are going to head to the car to leave, if you want to tell us the other reasons why you don't like going to the doctor, you can tell us later. But I think this is fine for now baby."

"Ok."

Lena rubbed Callie's back, Callie slowly started walking to the car, she was dreading the day.

The drive took 15 minutes, Callie at in silence the whole way, resting her head against the car door.

"Where hear Callie."

Callie lifted her head looking out the window, she knew in her heart that Lena and Stef would be with her but she still had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she was worried before but now that she was actually here everything just seemed so much more real.

"Come on baby, we will be right by your side."

When they got inside Lena started filling out all of the paperwork, it was a lot more than usual because this was Callie's first time being to this doctor. She felt guilty when she got to the section that she had to fill out previous health conditions. She should have read Callie's file more thoroughly.

"Callie, love, have you ever had any health problems before?"

"No, not that I can think of."

Callie's knee was bouncing up and down, and her hand was tapping against the chair. Stef placed her hand on Callie's knee, trying to keep it from bouncing. "Calm down Bug, everything's fine."

"Callie Jacob?" The nurse called.

Callie froze and then looked at Stef. "Come on baby, it's ok."

Stef took Callie's hand in her own, as they walked back to the room. "Ok Callie, I'm going to have you take your shoes of so we can weigh and measure you."

"You weigh 110"

Lena looked at Stef, they remembered looking over Callie's health report when she had first come to live with them. She had weighed 115, so she had lost 5 pounds.

"And you are 5' 6" inches tall. You can just follow me back to this room now, a nurse will be back shortly to check your vitals."

"Hell sweetheart, my name is Taylor, I'm going to check your temperature and blood pressure."

"Ok."

"Well, you have a low grade fever, 100.4, I'm going to check your blood pressure now. You're going to feel a tight squeeze on your arm."

"What is this done for, why do I need to have it checked?"

"It's just something mandatory we do, there are no symptoms, so you can have high blood pressure and not know it. We just have to check and make sure everything is fine."

"Lena I don't want to do this."

"You have to baby, it will be done before you know It."

"No, please don't let her touch me."

"Bug, she is not going to hurt you I'm right here, this is mandatory sweetie."

"No, that's what he said." Callie whispered.

"Baby, no this is not like before, the nurse is going to put this cuff around your arm to check your blood pressure, she will not touch you in any other way, and we are not leaving you alone."

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"You really need to stop apologizing kiddo, are you ready to get this done and over with?"

"Yeah I think so."

Callie held onto Stef's hand and closed her eyes to block out what was happening. It kind of hurt a little, but it was a lot faster than she had thought it would be.

"Ok everything looks good here; the doctor will be with you shortly."

"Stef, this is so boring when is the doctor coming back?"

"I know Kiddo, but he should be back soon."

About 5 minutes later, the doctor came back.

"Hello Callie, I'm doctor Kaiser. What brings you in to see me today?"

Callie scooted closer to Stef and Lena, and Stef got up to hold her hand.

"Callie Girl, can you tell the doctor what's been going on?"

Callie hesitated for a moment, she was still scared of the doctor, but she felt much safer knowing that she was not alone.

"Well my stomach has been hurting; it's been for a few months. It started out just a little pain and now it is getting worse, it's like a sharp pain. I have also been getting nauseous."

The doctor looked over her medical records, and examined her.

"Well I do want to have a few tests run, I think there is definitely something wrong she's so young she should not be feeling as bad as she is. I few weeks ago I had a patient that was a little bit older then Callie, presenting with the same exact symptoms. I would like to have her tested for Endometriosis. It's not common in children so young to have this condition, but I think it's necessary to rule out, just check things out to be on the safe side. The tests to diagnose this are Pelvic exam, and Ultrasound. For a complete diagnosis a surgery called a Laparoscopy would be required. We would wait for her tests results, and only do the surgery if we found abnormalities in her tests results. I do recommend getting the testing done, but it's up to you. The testing could be a little uncomfortable for someone so young, but I think it could make a difference in the long wrong, and it wouldn't hurt to have these tests done even if there were no symptoms present. Would you like to follow through with this?"

"Umm, I'm not sure but my wife and I will go home and talk about it."

"I'm going to give you referrals to a gynecologist, and I'm going to send Callie home with a medication called Dramamine, this should help with her nausea. I'm not going to give her medicine for the pain, because we don't yet know the cause so it likely will not help. Continue giving her Tylenol at home, and you can also use cold and hot compresses. Any other questions?"

"No, I think we are set. Callie do you have anything you would like to ask?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Ok, I want to come back for a follow up in two weeks."

"We will see you in two weeks, thank you."

"No problem, I hope you get feeling better soon Callie."

On the way home Callie was once again quite. "Are you ok Callie?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Stef decided to leave it at that until they got home, then she would talk to her and see what Callie was thinking, she could tell her brain was going every which way and she didn't really blame her. The poor girl hated doctors, she had at least one traumatic experience with doctors, and now she has to go back for a second time.

Stef was also more worried now than before, what if Callie had an incurable illness, what if she was seriously sick? What if it took months before they found out what was causing her baby so much pain?

When they got home, Stef motioned Callie back over to the living room like they had in the morning.

"Come her Bug, I just want to talk to you again for a minute."

Callie once again stared at a spot on the floor in front of her. She really didn't want to talk, she had so many thoughts running through her head at that moment.

"Callie, love, what are you thinking about?"

"I don't know, a lot of things I guess, I had just never thought much of this before… What if I'm really sick, what if this pain that I have been having is something that I will have for the rest of my life? I just can't help but thinking what it would be like. What if this is my life now?"

"Baby, I know this is hard for you, it's hard for me to, watching you in pain. I don't know what is going to happen; I don't know what will come out of this. But I promise you no matter what I, and your Mam, and all of your siblings are here for you. Whether this is a short term or long term thing, we are here for you. You're not alone, not now, and not ever again."

"Thank you, I'm going to try to just not worry about it and deal with the pain as best that I can for now. I don't want to worry about things that might happen in the future. I think I should focus on the now, I should be living my life. Whether this is something serious or not, I should start living like it is, I should live as if I will die tomorrow. I read this quote the other day, which said in life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a thousand times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they share every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is your going. It just gave me a lot to think about."

"You my dear girl are wise beyond your years. It amazes me every day, the wisdom coming from such a small girl. Mama brought home your school that you missed last night why don't you go finish it?"

"Ok, I will be in my room."

* * *

This chapter was not as good or as long as I planned on it being, which I apologize for, but I was kind of rushing because of Mothers day. As I mentioned before I'm not rushing into the "Correct" diagnosis because this is supposed to be as realistic as possible, so I'm incorporating some things that people may be tested for, or misdiagnosed with. I'm going to try and continue to post a chapter a day. What was your favorite part in this chapter? Reviews, ideas for future chapters? Thanks for reading, loves.


	4. Chapter 4

Lena and Stef sat in their bedroom that night discussing what they were going to do about Callie.

"I think we should take Callie to get the tests done, but we need to find a way to make the doctor a less traumatic experience for her, whenever we mention the doctor I can just see the fear on that poor girls face."

"I know, I agree we need to take her. I just don't know how we can help her get over her fear of doctors. We are going to have to start asking for female doctors, I think she would feel more comfortable that way."

"I think she might have a form of anxiety, or PTSD. What do you think about looking into cognitive-behavioral therapy? I think she might really benefit from it."

"I think we should schedule something, we need to do something to help her. Callie has a very deep seated fear, we can't just make it better overnight, and we can't do it by ourselves."

"I'm going to call in the morning and try to get something worked out, and then I will call the gynecologist and make the appointment. But, maybe the therapist will be able to proscribe something for her anxiety; it might help calm her for the appointment."

"I wish our baby didn't have to go through all of this, every day I see fear in her eyes, or we learn something new about her past that just breaks my heart in half."

"Sometimes, I wish we would have had Jude and Callie from a young age, and then they wouldn't have had to face so many battles in the foster system. They have been through so many traumatic events and their only kids."

"I think we need to do something fun with them soon, we need to spend time with all the kids, and we need to get Callie's mind of everything."

"We should go to…" Lena was cut off when they heard a door slamming. They got up and rushed out to the hall to see what the noise was, it had come from the bathroom door.

As they got closer they heard Callie throwing up behind the door, Stef quickly opened the door to go in.

Callie was leaning over the toilet seat dry heaving, tears rolling down her cheeks. Stef sat down next to her, holding her hair back, and rubbing her hand up and down Callie's back.

"It's ok baby, you're ok."

"It hurts again."

"I'm sorry baby, we are going to get you better soon."

Lena came into the bathroom with a bottle of water and a wet washcloth; she placed the washcloth on the back of Callie's neck.

"Drink some water Callie."

"Not thirsty." Callie said as she moved away from the toilet and moved farther into Stef's side.

"It will make you feel better sweetie."

"No, it will hurt my stomach."

"Just drink a small amount Bug."

Callie didn't say anything, she just started crying harder. Stef wanted to cry for her baby that was in her arms. The poor girl just couldn't catch a break, and it was hurting Stef watching Callie so sick and upset.

Stef took the bottle of water from Lena's hand, and put it near Callie's mouth. "Just a sip for now baby?"

Callie hesitantly took a small sip from the bottle. "Good girl. That wasn't so bad was it bug?"

"I don't want anymore."

"Ok, love, can you tell how you feel, what exactly hurts?"

"My stomach hurts, I feel nauseous, and I feel hot."

"The rest of the kids went to bed, do you want to go downstairs and watch a movie? We can sleep downstairs tonight."

"I don't want you to leave me!"

"We aren't leaving sweetie, we will stay down with you. Does it sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go baby."

Stef helped Callie downstairs, and sat her on the couch. Lena placed a pillow on her lap, and had Callie lay her head on her lap. Stef got a trash bucket just in case Callie had to throw up again. Then she went to the kitchen to get Callie a special treat.

"Callie girl, do you want a Popsicle?"

Callie's face lit up. If she couldn't get her to drink water a Popsicle would have to do. What kind of child would resist a Popsicle?

Stef took the wrapper of, and handed it to Callie. "It's banana flavor."

"Thanks Stef."

"Your more than welcome baby, now what movie would you like to watch?"

"It doesn't matter, you can pick."

Stef picked out a few movies, for Callie to pick from. "We have Rise of the Guardians, The Little Mermaid, of Percy Jackson?"

"I've never seen any of them before, but I guess we can watch… "Rise of the Guardians."

Stef put the movie in and then cuddled up on the couch with Callie. Lena was playing with Callie's hair, and rubbing her back. Stef was rubbing her knee.

Callie wasn't really focusing on the movie. 15 minutes later she couldn't hold back anymore so she decided to talk.

"Why do bad things happen to people, did I do something to deserve the cards dealt?"

"No, Bug you do not deserve the cards life dealt you, no one deserves to go through the things you have endured. Some people have to suffer unfairly, they do nothing to deserve the things that they have to go through, and they didn't cause it. I'm not going to pretend that I know why these things happen. Because I don't, I don't think anyone ever does, really know for fact why… I do know that it has all happened for a reason. I know how extremely difficult to understand all of it is. I'm sure you're wondering why you are sick, and why you had to suffer in the foster system for so long, you might not know the reason, you may never know the reason. And that can be hard to deal with. When you have an explanation, pain doesn't seem so bad anymore. We can tolerate suffering when we know why it is happening. But, baby, we don't know. One day this will all be over, and over time it will become a fading memory."

"It's not fair; I have to wake up wondering what will happen today? Because, something always happens. If one thing starts to get better in my life, it always seems like 10 more bad things have to happen to replace it. I just want to be normal, I want to feel like a normal 16 year old girl. But I will never be normal. I have flashbacks, and anxiety. I feel scared, frustrated, angry, and confused most of the time. I can't sleep because I'm haunted by nightmares. The memories from being in the foster system, getting beatings and being abused and raped, it's all in my mind permanently. I can't forget about all of those things even if I wanted to."

"I know baby, it's not fair, but we are going to help you get through this. We will try to help you forget all the bad memories, we will try our best to help you deal with your emotions and feelings. I know that it's hard to fight sometimes, when you feel like the whole universe is against you, but you are the strongest little girl I know, and with a little help I know you will rise above all of these things that life has thrown your way."

"I'm scared, I always feel so many emotions at once."

"How would you feel about going to cognitive behavioral therapy? I think you will like it a lot better then group."

"What is it?"

"Well, cognitive behavioral therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people's difficulties, and change the way they feel."

"I guess I could try it, if you really think it will help me."

"We do think it will help, we think you will get more benefit from this then you do with group."

"What about that doctor? Am I going to get the tests done?"

"Yeah, baby, we think you should have them done."

"Can you make sure I have a female doctor though? I mean a male doctor is bad enough, let alone a male gynecologist."

"We were already planning on it sweetie. How are you feeling about going to a gynecologist though, where you listening to the doctor when he was explaining what tests would need to be run?"

"Yeah I was, it's weird I guess. I'm just worried I'm going to have a panic attack, and the only thing I will be able to think about is that doctor from when I was little. Other than that it shouldn't be too bad, I have already had two pelvic exams."

"We might be able to get you some medicine to help with your anxiety. Mama or I will call the doctor and therapist in the morning."

"Ok, my tummy still hurts, and I'm cold now."

Stef got up and grabbed a blanket from the closet, covering Callie up. "We are going to do everything we can to get your tummy feeling better, for now just take this medicine ok baby."

Stef turned the lights of and cuddles back up on the couch with Callie. "Good night, Callie Bug."

"Night Stef, night Lena."

Lena kissed her forehead. "Night, baby. Sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite."

* * *

Reviews, ideas for upcoming chapters? What disease do you think Callie has, any ideas? Thank you for all of the nice reviews, they are what keep me motivated to write each day.


	5. Chapter 5

"I called the doctor, we are going take her to the hospital today for her ultrasound, they have a radiology unit at the local hospital. Then tomorrow therapy and evaluation. And the day after I got her into the gynecologist. Everything worked out, so we can just get it done and over with, which is what I was hoping would happen. We should take all the little munchkins to the park today, we can have a picnic. It will be the perfect distraction after all that has been going on. And thank goodness school is out in a few days, because Callie has been missing, and I think she will only miss more."

"Ok, well I should probably go into work today. Do you thin Callie will mind, if she only has you at the doctor with her, can you handle it alone?"

"I think, I should be fine. I agree you need to go to work. You should bring Callie's school home with you tonight."

"I will, I'm going to go make sure the kids are getting up."

Stef walked back in the living room, she decided to just let Callie sleep, she wasn't going to school so she felt no need to wake her up just yet, although she knew she might wake up from the loud noise the other kids made. But she was pretty exhausted at the same time, so she could sleep right through it.

The kids headed out the door for school, and Callie slept right through all the commotion and noise, waking up when the door slammed closed behind Jesus.

"Hey, sleepy head."

Callie just sat up groggily, moaning. "How are you feeling Bug?"

"Better, just tired."

"Do you want some cereal for breakfast?"

"Sure."

Stef placed the bowel in front of Callie, hopping she would be able to handle more food then she has for the past few days.

"Lena had to go to work today. But we got you in for an ultrasound today, is Lena not being there fine for you?"

"Yeah I guess, that's fine." Callie said unsure. Stef would be enough; she just liked to have both Stef and Lena with her at the doctor. But she felt safe with just one of them.

"Ok well you can finish eating and then just chill for a little while until we have to leave, you can do some of the school work Lena brought home last night."

"Ok, I will."

Almost two hours later Stef and Callie where in the car driving to the hospital.

"Are you sure this needs to be done?"

"Yeah baby, we need to find out what's wrong."

"And we really can't do that any other way?"

"One thing at a time Love, we have to have this test done. Tomorrow you have an appointment with therapy, the day after gynecologist. It will all be over before you know it."

"Are you going to be with me?"

"Yes, baby, I'm not leaving your side."

The rest of the ride was spent in silence Callie bounced her knee up and down, and chewed on her lip.

30 minutes later, Callie was getting ready for her ultrasound. "So why is an ultrasound done, what exactly does it do?" Callie has always been the curious kid; she just now started speaking up to ask questions.

"It's an imaging method that uses high-frequency sound waves to produce relatively precise images of structures within your body. The images produced during an ultrasound examination often provide valuable information for diagnosing and treating a variety of diseases and conditions."

"Does it hurt?"

"No honey, you might feel a little discomfort since you where required to have a full bladder, but generally it is not a painful tests."

Callie looked at Stef for reassurance; Stef took hold of her hand and squeezed it tightly.

The nurse lifted up Callie shirt so she could apply the jell to her abdomen, Callie froze in place.

"It's ok baby don't think about it. Look at me Bug."

Callie looked over her eyes where full of tears that where threatening to spill over at any moment.

"Take deep breaths, and look in my eyes, block the bad memories out. Think of happy ones instead."

"Callie, I'm going to put some jell on your abdomen now, it might be a little cold."

Callie jerked a little when the jell was placed on her abdomen. Stef placed her free hand on Callie's head playing with her hair.

"You're doing good baby, keep breathing for me."

Callie looked into Stef's eyes the whole time, leaning into her touch. She felt safe with Stef, she felt that in that moment nothing could hurt her. She felt like for once she was being protected, instead of being the protector.

Callie was focused on her thoughts so much she hadn't even realized when they were done, she hadn't felt the nurse whip the jell of her tummy.

"We are done Callie, you guys are free to leave. We will have the results in 2 or 3 days."

"Ok thank you."

In the car Callie stared out the window in front of her.

"Stef, what if neither the ultrasound of pelvic exam shows anything?"

"We will think about it when and if we get to that point."

"But what if this is all in my head! What if I'm just crazy?"

"Callie, you are not crazy. Bug, people feel pain for a reason, it's the body's way of telling us something is wrong. I know something is wrong love, you're not faking, and you're not crazy."

"When we get home will you help me with my math?"

Stef didn't reply for a minute, Callie had never asked for help with school before. She actually hadn't asked for help with anything before. She was starting to open up more.

"Sure Callie, we will work on it when we get home."

Stef helped Callie with her math for a while, then checked her other work. "So Lena and I were thinking about going to the park later and having a picnic with all of you guys, does that sound like fun?"

"It sounds like fun, but Jude and I have never been to a park before."

Stef was shocked she would have never thought her 13 and 16 year old children would have never had the experience of going to the park before.

Callie started talking again, and Stef realized she had been silent for too long.

"I mean we never really had the time. Going from one foster home to another, I was always busy taking care of Jude, and the other foster kids that where placed with us, I always took care of them to. I didn't really have time to play, or go to the park."

"Would you like to help me get our picnic lunch ready?"

"Yeah, it sounds fun."

"Ok we are going to have sandwiches and fruit. Can I trust you to cut the watermelon without chopping your little fingers of, or should I do that part?"

Callie giggled. "I think I can manage cutting watermelon Stef."

Stef smiled when Callie giggled, she had never really heard her laugh before, and in the past few days she hasn't seen her beautiful smile either.

Stef placed the watermelon, cutting board, and knife, on the counter for Callie.

"You start with that, and I will get everything for sandwiches ready."

Callie, got started on cutting the watermelon into small pieces. Stef looked over at her, she looked as if she was lost in thought.

"What are you thinking about sweetie?"

"Nothing…." Stef just gave her the look.

"I was thinking about my mom… I remember one night we got popcorn and watermelon, and we sat outside on the trampoline eating it, while we looked at the stars."

Stef walked over to Callie as she saw a tear fall down her cheek. Callie hadn't meant to cry, she hadn't even meant to tell Stef as much as she did.

"Bug, it's ok, it's ok to miss your mom."

"I miss her so much."

By this point Callie was sobbing, Stef pulled her into the living room and sat down with Callie pulled to her side, rocking her back and forth. They sat there in silence, Stef knew what Callie really needed now was to be held, to feel close to someone, to feel loved and safe.

Stef thought to herself, this poor girl can't catch a break. She has gone through more than anyone could imagine. Every day it is always something, she can't just have one day where everything is perfect. But one thing she knew is Callie was a strong and resilient child, she got beaten down and pushed around, she broke and had meltdowns dozens of times. But she always stood up and fought, she always overcomes and rises above the challenges life throws her way.

Callie fell asleep in Stef's arms, and they lay on the couch until the others got home.

Jude ran in the door. "Mama said we are going to go to the park today!"

Callie sat up moving away from Stef's side. "Yeah, baby, we are."

Lena walked. "We will go in a few minutes, go put your stuff up, and get ready."

Lena could tell by Callie's puffy, red eyes that she had been crying. She made a note in her mind to remember to ask Stef about it later. She walked into the kitchen and finished getting the food ready.

"Come on kiddos where leaving!"

The park was only a few minutes away, so they decided to walk.

Callie was walking behind everyone snapping pictures on her phone as she walked. Lena slowed down so she could walk next to here. "You take really nice pictures Cal."

"Thanks, but it's not that hard to push a button."

"You don't give yourself enough credit; you always take such beautiful photos. How would you feel about having a camera one day?"

"It would be nice, but aren't they expensive?"

"Yeah sometimes, but it's just something to keep in mind for Christmas."

Callie hadn't even thought about Christmas, it was never that big of a deal in foster care. Her and Jude usually spent it together, they had no one else.

When they got to the park Stef and Lena sat on a bench near the water and let the kids run of to play.

"So why was our Callie girl crying before we got home? Was she not feeling well again?"

"She was thinking about her mom. She didn't tell me much, just a memory she had with her. I just held her and let her cry I thought that is what she needed the most at that moment."

"We still have such a long road ahead of us with her. I have never seen a child that has experienced that much trauma in their life, ever. She has been through dozens of foster homes, given up her childhood to take care of Jude, been abused in every way, raped more than once, lost her parents, and it seems like the list just keeps growing."

"I know baby, but she is already making progress. She is getting better, and she is going to get through this."

Stef and Lena sat there for a while longer watching their kids. Jesus was teaching Jude to skateboard, and Callie, Mariana, and Brandon where on the swings. They stood up and walked closer to the kids. "Come on guys, time to eat. The kids started coming over and Lena put a blanket on the ground.

Stef walked over to Callie who was still on the swing. Callie had her eyes closed and was swinging herself high.

"Callie bug, it's time to eat."

"I like the swing, I don't want to eat yet."

"Well if you like it so much, we will have to come back."

Callie closed her eyes again giving herself one more push before jumping off.

"It makes me feel free"

* * *

Feedback, and story suggestions welcome


	6. Chapter 6

Should I continue with this story? I'm not sure many people are enjoying it, if you want more can you please favorite, follow, or just leave a little review? I'm not big on having a certain amount of reviews before I post the next chapter or anything. Just for right now I want to see if it's worth writing more, and that people have not lost interest.


	7. Chapter 7

Stef woke up at 3:00 AM to screaming, she got out of bed and went to Callie's room. Callie's nightmares had been getting intense, they seemed to become more frequent. Stef sat down on the bed, next to Callie.

"It's ok sweetie, Nothing can hurt you know."

"No, please stop, don't touch me."

"It's just a dream Bug, it can't hurt you, nothing is happening. Wake up baby."

Callie shot up from the bed and coward into the corner.

"Hey, love. It's ok, your safe. Take a deep breath and look around, you're in your room, I'm right here, your safe."

Callie picked her head up from her knees that she had rested them on, slowly she looked around the room. She moved forward clinging to Stef's side, sobbing.

"Mommy's got you, just let it all out baby girl."

Stef rocked Callie back and forth for a few minutes, just sitting in silence before speaking up.

"Callie, what was it about?"

"Just an old foster home."

"Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better. It's not good to keep everything to yourself like you do, it's ok to open up and talk to us love bug."

"The home I was in before the Olmstead's, the dad would always hit me, and he would beat me with his belt. He did all kind of things to punish me, he never hurt Jude. I wouldn't let him. He put rice on the floor, and would make me kneel on it all night long, my knees would bleed. It hurt so bad, the little pieces of rice would dig into my skin and get stuck, I had to pick them out and I got blood everywhere. But then he would get mad because of the blood, so he would make me take ice cold showers, sometimes scolding hot ones."

"I know the system has failed you, on many occasions. But I need you to know none of what happened is your fault, you did nothing to deserve the way you were treated."

"Then why do I feel guilty all the time? Maybe it is my fault."

"No baby, no child not matter what they do wrong deserves to be treated the way you were. Even if you did something wrong, if you talked back, or where disrespectful, it was still wrong. It is a parent's duty to protect their children, and if they sign up to be a foster parent they have the same responsibilities. It is also a parent's job to discipline their children. But the point of discipline is not to harm a child or cause pain, it is to teach them a lesson. Beating and abusing a child is not discipline, if you have to harm your child in order to make them learn a lesson and get your point across, then you should not be a parent in the first place."

Stef looked down at Callie, her breathing was still uneven. She could tell tonight might take longer to calm her down.

"Come on Callie Bug, take deep breaths, and just relax."

Stef moved into a position where they were lying down, pulling the blanket over Callie. She continued to hold her in her arms.

"Close your eyes baby, I'm right here, I'm not leaving."

After school it was time for Callie's therapy appointment and evaluation. Callie had been withdrawn since her nightmare the night before, Lena and Stef were hoping that today would go over well, and that they would be able to get some help for Callie.

In the car Lena tried to start a conversation with Callie, but she wasn't getting much out of her. "How are you feeling about today Cal?"

"Fine, I want to get it over with."

"Are you nervous?"

"No."

Lena could tell that Callie was lying. Callie has many nervous ticks rubbing her nose, biting her lip, cracking her knuckles, and playing with her necklace. She always gets fidgety when she is nervous and scared. Lena and Stef could read her like a book.

They met the therapist, she seemed pretty nice.

"Ok, I'm going to have your mom's leave the room now, and we will get started?"

"We will see you in a little bit Callie."

Callie just shook her head. She didn't want them to leave, she didn't like to admit it but she liked having them close to here, they made her feel better.

"Ok, Callie this is a questioner that I'm going to give you to fill out, then I will evaluate it, and figure out what's going on in that little mind of yours. Then next week we will start with the sessions. Here are the pages you have to fill out, and a pen. Take your time and don't rush through it. Make sure you answer all of the questions honestly because it is a huge part of the diagnosis process, no one will see your answers besides me. Go ahead and get started, just let me know when you're done."

When she got to a question about nightmares, panic set in as she started remembering her dream from the night before. She knew she needed to calm down before she had a panic attack, she tried to calm herself down in her mind, but it wasn't working.

"Callie, are you ok?"

She wanted to reply but she couldn't, she couldn't breathe, she felt as if she was going to pass out. She heard the office door open but she didn't know what was going on around her.

She felt someone sit down next to her, rubbing her back and whispering in her ear but for a minute she couldn't figure out who it was. She then realized it was Stef, Lena was sitting on the other side of her.

"Callie breath, calm down sweetie."

"I Can't." Callie gasped out

Stef put her cold hand on the back of Callie's neck.

"Yes you can baby, just try for me. Remember what I told you last night, deep breaths, in and out. Your safe baby girl, nothing can happen to you."

After another 15 minutes Callie calmed down almost completely, she looked at the ground feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have freaked out like that. I didn't mean to."

"It's ok Bug, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is, I'm so stupid, and I don't know why I always have to do this."

"No Callie you listen to me, you are not stupid, you are not in control of this. It's not your fault, these panic attacks, you cannot control when they happen baby."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's ok kiddo. Now how about we finish this up?"

Callie picked up the paper that had fallen to the floor, and finished filling out the last few questions. She handed it to the therapist as she reviewed everything to give a diagnosis.

Callie cuddled into Lena's side, waiting for her to finish. She didn't want to be there anymore, she just wanted to go home.

"Ok, well Callie has Depression, and Generalized anxiety disorder. Based on the nightmares she may have a form of PTSD, but I don't want to make an official diagnosis of that yet. I'm going to print out some papers for you to take home with information about these disorders. I'm going to prescribe her two medications Called Prozac, and Ativan. The Ativan is a short-term anxiety medication, it will help when she goes to the doctor, it will calm her nerves. This treatment plan we are going to set up should help manage symptoms, but in a few weeks we could add psychological counseling if needed."

Stef and Lena sat there taking everything in.

"Ok, can you please explain to Callie what she will be doing here next week?"

"Cognitive-behavioral therapy is different from many other types of psychotherapies because the sessions have a structure, rather than the talking freely about whatever comes to mind. I'm going to send you home with this journal for right now I want you to go home and write down specific problems and set goals that you want to work towards. These problems may be troublesome symptoms, such as sleeping badly, not being able to socialize with friends, or difficulty concentrating on reading or school work. Or they could be life problems, such as being unhappy in a situation, or having trouble dealing with an emotion. Our goal is to change your approach to problem-solving."

Callie looked up from the spot on the floor that she had taken interest to. She just nodded her head in understanding.

"How often are these nightmares been happening?"

"Recently they have been every night, sometimes a few times a night. A lot of times she doesn't even sleep because she is afraid of having a nightmare."

"I would also like to give her a sleeping pill called Sonata, it's short term. The CBT might also be helpful with this, but in the mean time I would like to give her this medicine to help her get sleep. We don't need her to get sick from not sleeping. Sleep deprivation is not good at all. I think we are done here for today."

"Thank you, it was nice meeting you."

Walking out of the office, Callie was clinging to Lena's side with a death grip. Lena didn't mind but she had taken notice to how clingy Callie had become within the past few days.

Callie doesn't like getting close to anyone, she knows if she gets to close she would just end up hurt. So it was a little strange how clingy she had become.

When they got to the car Lena opened the door for Callie to get in.

"Come on baby hop in."

"Callie backed up, not letting go of Lena's arm."

"What's wrong baby?"

"Don't leave me! Please don't leave." Callie whispered.

"I will sit in the back with you, but you have to get in and buckle up." Lena walked around to the other side of the car to get in.

Callie was staring out the window, not moving. Lena reached over and buckled the girl in. The ride home Lena pulled Callie to her side and whispered into her ear.

When they got home Callie stayed by either Lena or Stef's side. She sat at the table and helped them get ready for dinner. After setting the forks down Stef called for the rest of the kids to come and eat.

"How was your day my babies?"

"It was great, working on the play is so much fun. I think it's really going to turn out great."

"I'm learning a new piece on piano."

Jude and Jesus didn't say anything, they were too busy eating.

'How about you Cal, how was school?"

"I got an A on my math."

"That's great baby!"

Callie pushed her food around on her plate eating a few bites. It's not that her stomach hurt, she just wasn't hungry. She knew Stef and Lena would worry if she didn't eat anything though, so she tried her best to eat as much as she could.

"Callie are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, not really. I'm just not that hungry."

Stef gave Lena a look, they decided they would check in with her after dinner and see how she was really feeling.

"Jesus, and Brandon it's your night for dishes." Jesus just ground and stood up.

Jude looked over at him with a smile. "Don't worry guys I will help."

Callie cleared her plate and went to her room, the moms following her. "Sweetie, are you really feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I just don't know why I'm always so tired."

"Well you haven't been sleeping very well, Bug."

"Yeah, I know."

Stef walked over and placed her hand on Callie forehead. "You feel warm bug, I think you have a fever."

Lena walked out to find thermometer.

"Why do I always have to be sick!?"

"Oh, baby, I don't know. I wish I had the answer but I don't. I promise you we are going to find answers soon though."

"I'm just so sick and tired, or being sick and tired all of the time."

"Aww I know kiddo."

Lena placed the thermometer in Callie's mouth.

"100.4 It's low grade, I will go get you some medicine to bring it down."

Lena walked down the stairs and heard the boys in the kitchen. "What could they possibly be doing, they are supposed to be doing dishes?" She thought to herself.

She walked into the kitchen, to see Jesus holding the kitchen sink hose, a soaking wet Brandon, and Jude with bubbles on his face.

"What is going on in here?.

They all turned to Lena, Brandon and Jude pointed to Jesus and said "Jesus started it" in unison.

"Hey, not fair."

Lena walked over to Jesus. "I can't believe you guys… Having a water fight without me?" She said grabbing the hose out of Jesus's hand and spraying him with it.

"Mama, you're supposed to me on my side!"

"Fine, I guess you're right. It is an uneven number."

Lena turned and sprayed Jude and Brandon.

"Continue with your war, but just now that you guys are cleaning this mess up." Lena said as she grabbed the medicine from the cabinet and walked out of the room.

As she walked up the stairs she couldn't help but smile when she heard all 3 of her boys laughing, she loves these moments. When her babies where just being kids, and enjoying life. Jude was getting more comfortable around them, and this was just a little bit of proof.

"Guess what your boys are up to?"

"Oh no… Do I want to know?"

"They are having a water fight in the kitchen, don't worry they know they have to clean up the mess. It's kind of cute though."

Stef patted Callie knee, "I will be right back Bug."

Stef walked to her bedroom grabbing her camera from the side cabinet by her bed, she couldn't let this memory pass by without pictures. She snuck up behind the boys snapping a few pictures. Lena was right it was such a cute moment.

Stef walked back to Callie's room. Lena was giving her some fever reducers. "Ok, I gave her the Prozac and Ativan. We will give her the sleeping meds a little while before she is ready for bed."

"I'm going to go take a shower, and then read my book."

"Ok, baby sounds good."

Callie grabbed her pajamas out of her dresser and went to take a shower.

Stef walked upstairs and hour after. "That's weird" Stef thought to herself. Callie was still in the bathroom, the shower was of but she was still in there. Callie usually was out in less than 30 minutes.

"Callie, you ok in there?"

When Stef got no answer she got worried. "I'm gonna come in Callie."

Callie was sitting in the corner of the bathroom, with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her hair was still wet and was messy and tangled, she had he bra and shorts on but hadn't yet put her shirt on.

"Callie, Love what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just kind of freaked out again. It's not a big deal." Callie said without really lifting her head.

"What made you freak out baby?"

"I accidentally turned the water on hot, and it reminded me of my punishments I used to get."

"Oh baby, why didn't you call for one of us?"

"I don't know."

"Are you ok now sweetie?"

"I'm fine."

Stef grabbed Callie's shirt of the toilet seat, and helped her put it on. "Let's go baby."

Stef sat Callie down on her bed, and grabbed her brush, she sat behind her and started brushing her tangled hair.

"That feels nice."

"Hmm.. Then maybe I will have to brush your hair more often."

Callie sat on her bed under the covers reading her book, when Jude walked in.

Callie grinned "Did you have fun Jude?"

"What? Did Mama tell you?"

"Yeah buddy, she did."

"Callie, are we going to have to leave to another foster home?"

"I don't know bud."

"I don't want to leave, I like it here."

"I like it to Jude, I hope we don't have to leave, but I can never be sure."

"Jesus and Brandon are good big brothers, and Mariana is a good sister to. How are you feeling Cal?"

"I'm fine Jude, I told you don't worry about me."

"But, you're my sister. I kind of have to worry about you. I want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm sure I will be fine Jude, I really don't know what is wrong with my stomach, no one really does. But we will find out soon and I'm sure it's nothing serious. So please try your best not to worry about me."

"Ok, I'm going to go get ready for bed. I love you Cal."

"Love you to Monkey." Callie said kissing his head

A little while later Stef and Lena came in with her medicine.

"Are you ready to go to sleep baby?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Ok, here take this."

"Do I have to?"

"Yeah, baby, it's going to help you sleep."

"I don't like medicine."

"I know, but it's for the best. It's going to make you feel better."

Callie hesitantly took the pill. "Will one of you stay in here until I fall asleep?"

Stef loved the fact that Callie was able to ask, a few weeks ago she never would have asked them to stay with her.

"Sure baby, I will stay with you."

Lena got under the covers with Callie and Stef Kissed Callie on the forehead. 'Good night Callie Bug."

Stef walked into Callie's room, about an hour later to check on them. Callie was asleep, with her head on Lena's chest. Lena was holding onto her and was also asleep.

Stef couldn't help but think how cute her babies looked. She grabbed her camera again to take a picture. She loved to have all these memories to look back on. She decided to let Lena sleep with Callie, she didn't want to disturb either one of them.

Lena woke up when she felt Callie tossing and turning next to her. She looked over at the alarm clock whish read 3:08 AM

The nightmare hadn't got that bad yet so she held onto her tighter, playing with her hair.

"No!" Callie screamed

"Shhh.. Shhh.. it's ok."

"No don't leave me!"

Stef came in when she heard Callie screaming. When she walked in Callie was tossing and turning, and whimpering.

Stef climbed in bed next to her. "Callie, shhh… your safe baby girl."

"Please, I will be good."

They sat there with Callie for 10 minutes, trying to comfort her. 'Stef, how long does it usually take to wake her up?"

"She is usually awake in a few minutes."

Callie now had tears running down her cheeks, they needed to wake her up.

"I think the medicine is so strong she can't wake up."

Stef pulled Callie into her lap, Lena went to the bathroom and got a few wet washcloths.

"She is sweating so much, she has never sweated this much before, she is soaking wet."

Lena gently lifted Callie's shirt over hear head, she grabbed a hair tie from the nightstand and pulled her sweaty hair back so it wasn't clinging to her neck. She placed a wet washcloth on her stomach, and one on her neck.

"We have been moving her around a lot, she should be awake by now."

Callie jerked and tried to pull away, Stef held her arms down so she couldn't move as much.

"Shh.. it's ok Bug, it's not actually happening, just a dream sweetie. Please wake up."

20 minutes later Callie woke up jerking away from Stef, sobbing. Stef pulled her back into her lap.

"Baby, it's ok. Lena and I are right here."

"M.. Mommy?"

"I'm right her love."

"Mama… Mama?"

"I'm right her sweetheart." Lena said grabbing hold of her hand.

"I thought you left me…"

"We will never leave you baby."

"It felt so real." Callie said still crying

Stef continued to rock her in her arms. "Mama and I are right her, we are not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Don't worry about that Bug."

"I'm hot."

Lena got up and grabbed a pair of shorts and tank top from her dresser. "Why don't we get you out of these clothes, your all sweaty from your nightmare."

Callie just shook her head in response. Stef and Lena helped her change. "I'm sleepy."

Stef gently laid Callie back on the bed. "Close your eyes baby."

"I love you mom"

* * *

Reviews, and ideas for upcoming chapters welcome. What was your favorite part about this chapter?


	8. Chapter 8

Lena woke up, and reached to wrap her arm around Callie. She felt an empty bed next to her, she sat up quickly looking around.

"Stef, wake up."

"What babe?"

"Where is Callie?"

"I don't know." Stef said looking around the room confused.

"Well let's go find her."

They checked all of the rooms, looking for Callie, and checking on the other kids. They went downstairs, Callie was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water in her hands.

"Callie, love, why are you up so early?"

"I didn't want to sleep, I just needed some water."

Lena and Stef sat down next to Callie. "Will you talk to us about what happened last night?"

"It's not important."

"Yes baby it's important, what exactly was your nightmare about last night?"

"I don't want you guys to leave me, I don't want to be sent away."

"Callie, love, we told you we are not going to send you away."

"But maybe after today, after my test, then maybe you will change your mind and decide to get rid of me."

"Baby, we love you, you are our daughter. No matter what, we love you. DNA doesn't make a family love does."

"I had a family tell me they were going to keep me, I let my guard down, I got close to them, and I started to trust them. But then they had a baby and they decided they didn't want Jude and me. So, just like that they kicked us out. After all I went through to let them in, they destroyed the trust that had taken so long for me to have."

"I promise you, we are not like any other family you have ever had, you can trust us, and you can get close with us. You can love us, because we love you and nothing changes that. You have a very special place in our hearts, we would feel empty without you in this house."

"Can I take a shower?"

"yeah baby, go ahead."

"I don't think we should let her take that sleeping pill any more, she was having a pretty bad nightmare, and I felt so helpless not being able to wake her up."

"I will call the doctor about it later; I think it's too strong."

After getting ready Callie sat outside playing her guitar, trying to pass time. Music always calmed her down, and made her anxiety a little better. She started strumming the guitar and singing, softly.

You may think I'm just fine

How could anything ever be out of line?

I take my time to set the stage

Make sure everything is all in place

Even though I've got the lines rehearsed

A picture only paints a thousand words

Things aren't always what they seem

You're only seeing part of me

There's more than you could ever know

Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone

But I suppose like everyone

There's so much more that's going on

Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can't see anything

Through the dark surrounding me

And at times I'm unsure about the ground

Beneath my feet, if it's safe and sound

When it's hard to find hope in the unseen

I have peace in knowing it will find me, yeah

Things aren't always what they seem

You're only seeing part of me

There's more than you could ever know

Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone

But I suppose like everyone

There's so much more that's going on

Behind the scenes

Things aren't always what they seem

You're only seeing part of me

There's more than you could ever know

Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone

But I suppose like everyone

There's so much more that's going on

Behind the scenes

You may think I'm just fine

How could anything ever be out of line?

"That was beautiful baby." Callie looked up to see Stef standing next to her, she hadn't realized she had an audience.

"Umm… Thanks."

"It's time to go kiddo."

"Ok, Callie, you can change into this gown now."

"Well this is fashionable."

"You sound like Mariana now, it's only for a few minutes Cal, and then you can take it off."

"Ugh, fine."

The doctor walked back in the room, a few minutes later. "Ok Callie, I'm going to have you lay down on the table and,"

"I know what to do, you don't have to remind me."

"Would you like me to explain what's going on as I go?"

"No, please don't tell me."

Stef and Lena sat on either side of Callie, holding her hands. The doctor fixed Callie's gown into the right position.

"Mama!"

"Shh.. Hey it's ok."

"Please don't make me do this!"

"Bug, you need to baby."

"Mommy, please don't let them do this…"

"I won't let them hurt you love, it's ok try to relax."

They were sure Callie was going to break down, and have a full blown panic attack, but instead she stared at the ceiling not moving, almost in a comatose state. But as soon as she felt the speculum, she jerked trying to get away.

"No, Liam. No, please stop."

Stef held Callie's face and her hand, using her free hand to hold her arms down. She continued moving around, trying to get away. Lena held her leg loosely, so she would move and injure herself.

"Baby, look at me. Callie girl, you're safe."

"Mom, make him stop!"

"Baby, it's not Liam. He's not here your safe baby."

"No, make him stop. Help me mommy!"

Stef's heart broke for her little girl, she knew she couldn't really help her or make Liam go away because he wasn't actually there. So she just held her in her arms, whispering in her ear, until they were done.

"Where done Callie. You can get dressed and we will be back to discuss your results."

"I want to go home."

"We will baby, let's get you dressed."

"Lena, I'm going to be sick."

Lena grabbed the trash can sitting next to them, and placed it under Callie's mouth, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's ok sweetheart, where going home."

"The tests are negative for Endometriosis; she is perfectly healthy in this department."

Stef and Lena helped Callie get dressed. She had calmed down a little, but was still shaking.

Callie didn't say a word, when they got home she went and lay down on the couch.

"You know what I think Callie girl needs?" Stef said walking into the living room with Lena

"Mama cuddles?"

"Of course" They snuggled up on the couch with Callie, sitting in silence until Callie spoke up.

"I'm sorry I freaked out so bad."

"It's not your fault sweets."

"Yes, it is."

"It's a normal reaction, a lot of people who have had traumatic experiences have panic attacks."

"It makes me feel like a freak."

"Well it shouldn't. Lots of people have anxiety disorders, and panic attacks. It's nothing to be embarrassed about; it's not in your control. It doesn't change you, you're still the amazing girl I knew yesterday. You have just had to go through a lot of things that some people don't. It's not your fault sweetie, you didn't choose this, you didn't ask for this life."

"I don't know anyone who has had a panic attack."

"Mariana used to have them when she first came here, because just like you, she had been through traumatic experiences."

"Wait, she used to have them? It's not something that lasts forever?"

"I don't know love, it's different for everyone. It's a long term illness, but you can learn how to control it, it will take a lot of hard work at therapy, but over time your panic attacks could happen less and less."

"I hate them, they make me feel so bad, and it hurts my chest."

"I know kiddo, we will work extra hard in therapy to help you with them."

"So I don't have Endometriosis?"

"Well your one test came back negative, we still have to wait for the ultrasound result to be positive."

"I don't think I have it."

"And why is that?"

"Because nothing is ever that easy for me, I don't just have two tests and get answers. It just doesn't work that way with me."

"I promise you, we are going to get answers, one way or another."

"It's so hard, not knowing what is going on inside your body."

"Yeah, it is kind of scary. So is the pain, vomiting, and nausea, the only symptoms you have?"

"Well, this morning I had a little heartburn, but I don't think it' related or anything. And sometimes I just get achy all over."

"Ok, well that might be something we should tell the doctor."

Right before dinner Lena got a call from the doctor.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Ms. Lena, Adams-Foster?"

"Yes, this is she."

"We got Callie results, sooner than expected, and we have some good news. There is no evidence of Endometriosis."

"Ok, thank you, have a nice night."

She decided to tell Stef when the kids went to bed, and tell Callie in the morning. It was great news that she didn't have the horribly painful disease, but now they were stuck, and didn't know what was going on with their baby.

The rest of the night was spent with Mama cuddles, school work, and movies.

They decided to have a family movie night, after the movie they decided they would all just sleep in the living room since the kids had all fallen asleep.

* * *

Name of song: Behind the Scenes by Francesca Battistelli. Within the next few chapters, Callie should have a diagnosis.


	9. Chapter 9

Stef and Lena woke up startled to the sound of a loud bang, they briefly looked around the room until they spotted Callie on the floor. Callie was holding her head in her hands.

"Callie, love, what happened?" Stef said getting closer to Callie on the floor.

"I had a nightmare, and when I woke up I accidentally fell of the couch."

Stef moved Callie's hands from her face.

"Oh, baby." Stef turned to Lena, looks like we are going on a late night ER run, can you stay here with the rest of the kids?"

"Yeah, I will stay here."

"No! It's fine I don't need to go to the hospital."

"Baby, it looks like you need stitches."

"No, it will be fine in the morning."

"We don't need this getting infected, love."

"I can clean it up then, it won't get infected."

"No arguing right now Cal, we need to go."

Lena came back in the room with a washcloth. "Hold this on your head sweetie."

Callie winced as she placed the cloth on her head.

"Ok get going, call or text me with updates."

"I will babe, thanks for staying with the kiddos."

When they got to the doctor, Stef gave the nurses Callie's information and they were sent back to a room.

"Do I really have to wear one of these ugly hospital gowns again?"

"Yeah, sweets."

"Why? They are just looking at my head, I don't think I should have to wear this."

"But you do love, so just put it on."

"Fine." Callie said slightly pouting. Stef took notice of how adorable her pout was.

"Ok ,Callie is going to require a few stitches, one of the nurses will be in shortly to start the process. We are going to hook her up to fluids for a few hours, as she seems pretty dehydrated, we are also going to need to get a CT scan done, since there is a little swelling we just need to check for concussion, or other injuries that cannot be seen."

When the doctor left, Stef took notice of Callie who was staring at a spot in front of her.

"Callie, love?"

"No needles!"

"They will to make you all better love."

Silent tears started falling from Callie's eyes.

"Do you want to tell me why you don't like needles?"

"Please don't leave!"

"I'm not leaving Bug, why don't you like needles?"

"I don't know, I just don't like them. Every time we go to a new foster home we have to go to the doctor and they have to give us shots, or take our blood. They always just leave us there, they never come back for us."

Stef sat down next to Callie. "I'm right here"

A few minutes later the nurse came in. "We will get this IV started with fluids, and then we will get your head stitched up for you, shortly after they will take you back for a CT scan.

Stef moved the position of her body, so that Callie was sitting in between her legs.

"Have you ever gotten an IV before Callie?"

"Yes, lots of times."

The nurse placed the elastic band on Callie's upper arm, to make her vein stick out, since she was already dehydrated starting an IV could be more difficult.

"Close your eyes bug, and take deep breaths."

Callie leaned into Stef's chest closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of Stef's heart beat which helped calm her down quite a bit. She wasn't really scared of needles in general. She just associated it with being dumped at another foster home, and it did feel uncomfortable. She was also in a vulnerable state, so things just seemed to affect her in ways they usually didn't.

She was kind of embarrassed that she was 16, yet here she sat in her mom's arms, over a little needle. She was still kind of fidgety in Stef's lap, Stef took her free hand and took Callie's hand in hers.

"Your veins seem to be hiding, they don't want to come out today. Can you squeeze your hand into a fist for me?"

Callie squeezed her hand as tightly as she could, keeping her eyes closed. She had focused on Stef's heartbeat, she hadn't even realized that they were done.

"All done Callie."

Callie looked up in shock that she hadn't even felt it.

"Ok, now let's get your head wound all fixed up. I'm going to start by putting a numbing gel on top of the cut, then I will begin cleaning your cut with sterile water, which is squirted into the cut to remove harmful germs and dirt."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"No honey, this gel I'm putting on will numb it so you can't feel it."

"Ok, I will be using this tiny needle, and will be sewing your cut together with the sutures. Although the area is numb, you might feel a tug as I pull the stitches together."

Callie leaned further back into Stef wincing every so often at the uncomfortable feeling. The doctor was right, the numbing medicine prevented any pain, but it still felt very uncomfortable.

"All done, a nurse will take Callie back for a CT in a few minutes."

"I'm tired."

Stef looked at the clock on the wall that read 3:00 AM, Callie had only gotten an hour of sleep.

"You can go to sleep after the CT scan."

"I want to go home… I want Mama."

"We will be home before you know it, this will all be over soon."

Stef moved on the bed to where she was laying back on the propped up mattress, Callie still on her chest. She played with Callie's hair watching her rub her hand against her nose.

"Ok, we can take you back now, mom you can come with her. We are going to ask that you take all jewelry of, as it interferes with the CT."

Callie's hand moved to her neck, clutching her mom's necklace.

"Callie, I will hold it for you love."

"No, I want to keep it."

"It's just for a few minutes, you can put it back on after."

"I can't lose it."

"I will keep it safe bug, I will put it in my pocket."

Callie reluctantly handed her necklace to Stef. They rolled Callie back to the imaging room, and had her lay down on the table.

"Ok sweetheart you won't feel anything as the CAT scan is taken, but may hear whirring and buzzing as the machine works."

"It's cold in here…"

"This is due to air conditioning used to maintain the equipment." The technician said covering Callie up with a blanket."

"Ok now stay real still, try your best not to move. I will be right over here in the adjoining room to operate the machine."

The test took about 10 minutes, and then they took Callie back to her room.

Stef sent a quick text to Lena letting her know what was going on. "Do you want me to lay down with you Cal?"

"Ummm.. You don't have to if you don't want to."

Stef walked over and took her position on the bed that she had been in earlier, she knew Callie needed the comfort and contact, and she didn't mind giving that to her.

Stef noticed Callie was playing with a piece of her hair, but she soon realized Callie had started tugging on the piece of hair with force.

"Bug, don't pull so hard."

She continued pulling on her hair as if she hadn't heard Stef talk, she took her other arm and bit her wrist.

"Callie, stop don't bite yourself."

Callie continued biting here wrist, she wasn't biting enough to puncture the skin or anything, but Stef still didn't want Callie harming herself.

Stef grabbed Callie's arm and held it to her side. "Stop biting love, and stop pulling your hair, sweetie you're going to hurt yourself."

"No! Let me go." Callie said trying to get her arm loose from Stef's grip."

She took the hand that had been pulling her hair, and started angrily hitting her leg with it.

"Hey, baby stop."

Stef placed her arm to the side like the other one, so she would stop hurting herself.

"No I need to."

"Why Bug, why do you need to hurt yourself?"

"I'm not I just… I, I need…"

"Hey calm down love, shhh."

After a few minutes Stef let go of Callie's arms, making sure she could grab them again if needed. Callie turned over a little bit, still lying on Stef's chest.

She closed her eyes, and placed her hand by her mouth rubbing her nose, rubbing it until she fell asleep.

A nurse walked in to check on Callie. "Is everything ok in here?"

"Yes, umm I was just wondering though. A few minutes ago she was pulling on a piece of her hair, and biting her wrist, when I tried to make her stop she started hitting herself. Do you know why she could be acting like this?"

"Some children employ self-injury in a time of stress or emotional distress as a method of calming themselves down. The self-injury causes the release of neurotransmitters that have a self-soothing effect. It sounds like this may be the case with Callie. It may also be caused by lack of sleep, and exhaustion. For some children it's a response to demands they perceive as overwhelming. In such a case, self-injury is a way of relieving their anxiety. I don't think it's anything to worry about, unless it becomes frequent."

"Ok thank you."

An hour later Callie was still sleeping, Stef decided to get up and go to the bathroom. She had to hurry she didn't want Callie to wake up and find her missing, she would probably freak out.

Callie woke up when she felt a hand on her leg, she figured it was just Stef moving, she looked around confused she Stef wasn't there… Had Stef left her? Wait if Stef wasn't there who's hand did she feel on her leg, who did she hear breathing next to her?

Callie looked next to her and saw a face that she never thought she would see again.

* * *

Sorry guys, I know I'm torturing you guys by not reveling Callie's diagnosis. It's coming soon I promise. So how did you like the cliff hanger? Who do you think is in Callie's hospital room with her? Let me know if you would like to see something in the story, more then likely, unless I don't know how to incorporate it, I will write it into the story.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey Callie, it's been so long since I last saw you, you've only gotten prettier since last time."

"No, stay away from me."

"Don't you remember me Callie?"

"Yes I remember you, how could I forget?" She said sarcastically

"Awe well I'm glad you remember" He said pulling the blanket from Callie's body.

"Be quite and don't say a word, or your little Mommy will pay for it."

Callie sat in fear, she was shocked, and she didn't know what to do, should she scream? Should she listen to him?

His hand slowly moved up her leg, she felt like she was going to vomit, but she didn't want anything to happen to Stef. He made his way to her underwear, slipping his hand underneath. He put his hand over Callie's mouth when she whimpered.

"I know you like it honey, but we have to be quite, we don't want anyone to hear us."

Callie tried to move away, when he slipped his fingers inside of her. "You feel even better then you did when you were eleven, funny how so much can change in 5 years. Do you have a boyfriend? The little virgin girl I remember, Isn't so much a little virgin girl anymore."

Callie kept silent. Where was Stef? She thought to herself, why isn't she coming to save me?

Without removing his hand from her mouth, he moved to unzip his pants.

"This is going to feel so good Callie, you will love it." Before Callie said anything they heard a voice outside the curtain.

Callie breathed a sigh of relief, when she heard Stef's voice talking to a nurse. He quickly moved zipping his pants back up.

"Don't mention this to anyone, it's our little secret, if you say one word you will regret it." He said before slipping out the other side of the curtain.

Stef came back into the room, expecting Callie to be sound asleep. Callie was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, staring at the blanket on her lap.

"Callie, love, are you ok."

"I'm fine."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just had a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't really remember it."

Stef knew Callie was lying but didn't want to push it, she knew Callie was exhausted, and didn't feel well, she didn't want to push her to hard.

"Why don't you try to sleep kiddo? We should be out of here soon but you can still wrest up."

"I'm not tired…"

Now Stef knew something was wrong, as she could tell just by looking at Callie how exhausted she was. She still didn't want to push it though, she figured she was afraid of sleeping die to nightmares, and that she would get her to sleep in her own bed at home.

The doctor came in a few moments later. "The CT results are fine, there is no concussion. I recommend using an antibiotic ointment like bacitracin or Neosporin to help minimize risk of infection. It is important to avoid getting the wound dirty or very wet. Briefly showering is advisable, but swimming should be avoided until the stitches are removed. We will need to see her in a week to remove the stitches. The healing wound is going to itch, but it's important that you don't scratch it, because that can also introduce infection. You see how it's a little red around the stitches?" the doctor said looking to Stef

"Keep an eye on that, it's a normal part of the healing process. However, if the redness begins to spread from the edges of the wound, or if it becomes warm and painful, or pus begins to drain, it is important to have the wound rechecked. If an infection is present, the stitches may need to be removed immediately. Any other questions?"

"No, I think where good."

"Ok, a nurse will be in to take the IV out, and discharge Callie. Make sure when she gets home she is getting plenty of fluids, you can try some juice and Popsicle as well."

"Ok, Thank you doctor."

When they were released from the hospital, Stef called Lena from the car. It was now 7:00 AM

"Callie are you hungry?"

"Yeah a little."

"We will go pick something up to eat, we can get foor for everyone at home to."

"Ok."

"How are you feeling now sweetie, tell me the truth?"

"I just want to go to sleep."

"After you eat, we will to bed baby."

When they walked into the house with the food Jude ran up to Callie.

"I was so worried about you! Are you ok?"

"Yeah buddy, I'm fine I just needed to get a few stitches."

"Does it hurt?"

"I have a little headache, but I feel much better now. Are you hungry? We come bearing gifts" Callie's said as they sat the food on the table.

"I'm starving." Jude said before sitting down and digging in.

Callie walked across the room and gave Lena a hug.

"Hey baby, I'm so glad your ok now. Why don't we eat and then you can go upstairs and sleep?"

Callie shook her head before sitting next to Stef, eating her food.

"Can I go now?"

"Yeah, baby, me and Mama will be up in a few minutes."

The kids finished eating and the moms went to talk in their room before going to Callie.

"How is she doing?"

"It's been a long night, she is physically and mentally exhausted, she had another nightmare at the hospital, and she has been acting different since then."

"What do you mean different? She has been acting different since she got sick, you have noticed that to right? She is so clingy, it's almost like she has separation anxiety she always wants one of us to be with her because she is terrified she is going to lose us, or that we will leave her. I don't know what to do to make her realize we are not leaving, I have told her over and over again. And I will continue to reassure her, I just don't know if it's doing any good or not."

"I have noticed that, when we were at the hospital she said she wanted her Mama. She just seemed a little more distant after the nightmare."

"Do you know what the nightmare was about?"

"No she wouldn't say, she told me she couldn't remember, although it was very clear she could remember it."

"Hmm, well maybe she will tell us later. Now about the negative test results… Where do we go from here?"

"I would be lying if I told you I knew, because I have no clue what is next. I guess we will go for a follow up, and we will see what the doctor suggests. I'm not giving up on finding answers though. I will call tomorrow, and we will talk to Callie about it after she gets some sleep."

"Sounds like a plan, let's go check on her."

When they went to Callie's room she was fast asleep.

Callie woke up, rubbing her eyes she looked over at the clock, it read 12:00 AM. Callie got up and walked to the living room where Stef and Lena sat.

"Hey sleepy head, did you have a good nap?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Sit down." Lena said patting the spot on the couch next to her.

"What's wrong, am I in trouble?"

"No baby, no. We just need to talk for a minute."

"About what?"

"Your test results, sweetie."

Callie looked at the ground, nervous. She wanted to know what was wrong, but the thoughts of what could be wrong scared her at the same time.

"Both of your tests came back negative, you don't have Endometriosis."

Callie took a minute to let it sink in.

"So what does this mean?"

"It means we are going to have to call the doctor, and see what the next step will be."

"I don't want to have any more tests run."

"I know love, we will have to wait and see what the doctor suggests."

"It's good that I don't have Endometriosis though."

"Yeah it is baby."

"You still have to write down your goals for therapy, do you want to work on that now? Lena and I can help you."

"Sure, let me go get my notebook."

CBT Goals

1. Sleep better without nightmares

2. Better understand my emotions

3. Control my anxiety

* * *

Ideas for upcoming chapters?


	11. Chapter 11

Stef walked around making her nightly rounds to the kid's bedrooms.

When she got to Callie and Mariana's room, she found Callie with her knees pulled up to her chest.

"Bug, you ok?"

"I'm so sorry."

"What for sweetie?"

"I'm sorry." Callie said as more tears slid down her cheeks.

Stef got closer and stood next to Callie's side, gently rubbing her back. "Baby, you have to tell me what's wrong."

"I… Ummm… I had, I had an accident."

Stef sat processing Callie's words for a minute, before she realized what the girl meant. Stef pulled the blankets away from Callie.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Oh sweets, it's ok. Everyone has accidents sometimes; it's not a big deal love."

"Stef, I'm 16 I shouldn't be wetting the bed. I'm not a baby."

"Callie, it happens, it happens to pretty much everyone at least once."

"Yeah… When they are 6."

"Cal it's ok, let's go get you cleaned up a bit."

Stef grabbed some shorts from Callie's dresser handing them to her. "Go clean up and I will change the sheets."

"You don't have to do that, I can take care of it myself."

"It's what moms do love, just go get cleaned up."

"What's my punishment?"

"Callie, it was an accident, you're not getting in trouble sweets."

"Are you sure? I don't mind taking punishments when I did something wrong."

"Love, you did nothing wrong, ok this was an accident, nothing to bee embarrassed about, and nothing that is going to get you in trouble. Now go change."

After changing Callie walked back to her room. "See good as new sweets, now why don't you crawl back in bed and try to go to sleep."

"What's going to happen with me being sick? When is this all going to be over?"

"I don't know sweetie, we will talk about it more in the morning once we call the doctor and figure things out."

"I just want all these bad things to stop happening."

"I know love, but one day it will all be over. This will all be a fading memory."

"I hope so."

"Good night bug."

"Night mom… I love you."

Stef kissed her forehead, and walked out the door smiling. This was the first time Callie had said I love you to Stef, it made her heart so happy.

The next morning Lena called the doctor, he decided to have her come in so he could see how she was doing, and they could see where to go from there.

"Morning Slug a bug."

"Good morning."

"You have a doctor's appointment in a few hours."

"Ok."

"How are you feeling today?"

"My stomach hurts, but just a little."

"Ok well mama made some eggs, so eat up."

Callie ate every last bite of the food on her plate, she was starving. She had hardly eaten anything in the past few days and she finally felt well enough to eat without getting sick.

"I'm going to go outside with Jude."

"Ok, put your plate in the sink please."

Callie walked outside and where Jude, and Jesus where playing soccer.

"Can I play?"

"Sure, but I'm pretty good if I do say so myself."

"Ha, yeah I think I can manage to get the ball from you."

They started playing, shortly after Mariana and Brandon came out. "We want to play to."

"Sure, but I'm pretty good if I do say so myself." Callie said with her foot on the ball smirking at Jesus.

"I let her have the ball."

"Sure you did."

"No, really, I'm serious I decided to be a good brother and let her have it."

"Yeah, right. Come on let's play some ball."

Stef looked at the clock and saw it was already time to leave for Callie's doctor appointment. When she walked outside to get her, she was stopped by the sound of laughter. She had to pause for a moment and take it all in.

There was so much going on, so much stress. Callie was practically breaking down, and her other kids where on edge but kept silent. They all knew something was wrong with Callie, but no one knew what exactly, so the only thing they could do was make sure they were there for her, when she needed them.

But Stef and Lena knew this was hard on them, seeing Callie sick. They all knew what it was like to have the flu, they couldn't imagine what it felt like being sick for so long at a time.

It was a sound that she hadn't heard for a while. She had always thought the sound of children's laughter was precious, no matter how old they got. She wanted to stay in the moment for ever. Her kids laughing and playing together like they had no cares in the world.

They were all laying on the ground now, looking at the clouds, and finding shapes in them. In that moment Stef didn't want to disturbed them, she didn't want to interrupt them being kids for a change, just for a doctor appointment. She thought back to Callie's word the night before "When is this going to be over?"

She thought about that a lot, when will it end, when will there be no more doctors appointments? But in the back of her mind she knew it was only just the beginning, but it seemed like so long. The time just seems to drag out and fly by at the same time, doctors, sick nights with fevers and throwing up into a bucket. No one should have to deal with that, no child should have to, and no child who has already been dealt a bad hand of cards should have to go through it.

Stef got so lost in that moment, she didn't notice until Lena walked up behind her.

"It's nice isn't it?"

"If I'm thinking the same thing you are, then yes it's very nice."

"I wish it could be like this all the time."

"I know babe, but it can't and we need to go so we are not late."

"I know…"

"Sorry to break this up, but Callie has a doctor appointment we need to go to."

"Ugh, can't that wait till later?"

"No love, we have to leave now."

"Don't worry Callie we will do this again soon, it was fun."

"Yeah, it was fun, thanks guys."

"Let's go, car now, hurry we don't want to be late."

"Can you put the window up please? I'm kind of cold."

"It's nearly 80 degrees Callie, are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, just a little cold."

"What are you thinking about bug?"

"Hmm, what?"

"You head is going somewhere, what are you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing important."

"You can talk to us about anything."

"I don't know, I umm… I was just thinking about earlier. When I went outside to see Jude, he was playing with Jesus. He was just so happy, the smile on his face, I haven't seen that in a long time. He hasn't truly been happy for a while, I mean he is 13 and he always has to worry about being sent away and what each house holds behind the closed doors. But this place is different, he feels safe here, I feel safe here. I didn't think I would ever see that smile, or hear his laugh again, at least not that genuine. And then Mariana and Brandon came out to play with us… And I felt, I don't know excepted. Most foster siblings want nothing to do with us, the judge us, and bully us. But again, this time it's different. We don't get any of that from your kids or you, and it's nice for a change."

"Sweetie, we are so glad you feel that way. All of us, we love you, you and Jude made your way into our hearts and we couldn't imagine life without you. We are so happy that you feel safe and accepted with us, because you are."

"I guess, I just have to get used to this, I'm just scared because whenever I love someone, I lose them. I can't let myself love you like I should because, if I do, right when I open up I will be shipped away."

"Callie, no matter what, if you stay with us, or if you leave and get adopted by a wonderful family. You will always be our kids, we love you so much, and you can't get away from us now."

"Thank you Stef."

They got back to the doctor, and went through the process again. "The doctor will be back shortly."

"How are you feeling today Callie?"

"I'm fine."

"Ok, so as you already know the good news is you don't have Endometriosis. I'm sure you are probably wondering what the next step is? I'm going to give you referrals for a gastroenterologist at Rady children's hospital."

"Ok, how long should that take to get her in?"

"We won't know until you make the appointment. It shouldn't take that long considering there are 18 pediatric GI doctors in San Diego, and several at Rady's. You could wait up to 6 months, but given how many are in the area a month at the longest. Do you have any questions?"

"Callie has been experiencing some heartburn, what can we do for that?"

"I will put her on a medication called Zantac, we will see how she does on that. When you get into Rady, they may run a few tests, to find out how to better treat the heartburn if this medication does not work."

"Ok thanks so much."

"Have a nice day, I hope you start feeling better Callie."

"Thank you."

"Buckle up Callie."

"Why does everything have to take so long?"

"I don't know love."

"I would rather go and get it done and over with, then wait a month."

"I know bug, I wish it was faster to, but we don't know if it will be a month or not. I think with all the doctors we will be able to get in sooner."

"I hope so."

"Ok we will go to the pharmacy and get the medicine, and then go home and relax. How does that sound?"

"Sounds wonderful."

* * *

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I have been really busy finishing school, raising money for an organization, running my own organization and packing boxes for sick kiddos, going to the doctor at least 3 times a week, and being sick. But I'm really going to try and update more often.


End file.
